You know, you just can’t make up, uh, shit like this.
Anyway, the state of California says that cow farts and cow doody release greenhouse gases.
That’s a big no-no, cuz those gases have a HUGE influence on the climate. Or they might. Or whatever.
The bozo behind this piece of regulatory silliness is Democratic Senator Ricardo Lara. By the year 2030, he wants to reduce methane emissions from cows to 40 percent below 2013 levels.
How will this be done?
Maybe cow-gas can be cut back with oversized corks, inserted carefully [description redacted].
Or maybe cow emissions can be captured in giant windsocks and then, along with payloads of cow pies, be rocketed into outer space.
Or all that crap could be buried out near Bakersfield.
Hey, what a legacy Senator Lara’s gonna have — “Curtailer of Cowshit.”
But maybe you aspire to crafting a more worthy legacy for yourself.
Maybe you dream of building homes for the homeless.
Or doing missionary work overseas.
Whatever it is, please aim for something beyond manure maintenance.