Sack up and go with the scary

haunted-highwayA lotta dainty flowers are sobbing and whining and wringing their hands about the election this week of Donald Trump.

“I’m scared!”

The sumbitch is still two months from the White House and they’re terrified of what MIGHT happen. Maybe.

“Trump might do something…BAD!”

More likely, he’ll do something stoopid that’ll keep the country locked into litigation of one sort or another for the next four years.

Anyway, all this reminds me of a bit of wisdom I once stumbled on in a hardboiled crime novel.

In the middle of throat-slashings, pistol-whippings, and butt-kickings, outta nowhere, a deputy tells a young babe…

“It’ll never feel right. It’ll always feel scary, so you’ve got to go with scary.”

That walloped me so hard my teeth rattled.

OK, maybe the idea of President Trump doesn’t feel right to you. I understand that. (The idea of President Clinton II didn’t feel right to me, either.)

But you can’t successfully live your life if you panic whenever something doesn’t feel right.

It didn’t “feel right” when I jumped into my first assignment as a corporate hack way back when.

And after the Big Corporate Debacle, it didn’t “feel right” when I tore up my job resume to fly solo.

It didn’t “feel right” when I spoke from a stage to a roomful of strangers for the first time.

And it sure didn’t “feel right” when I created and launched my first ever digital online information product.

Hell, no.

Those things felt scary.

Real scary.

Life’s ALWAYS friggin’ scary, fer krissakes.

If you sit around waiting for the “right feeling” before you change things up for yourself, nothing’s ever gonna happen.

You might as well pull the blankie over your head right now.

I know it, and you know it.

Anything worth doing is going to be scary.

Embrace it.

Sack up and go with the scary.

http://tinyurl.com/zft964q

When killer turkeys attack!

thankskillingGet a load of this recent 911 call made to police in Davis, California…

“Yes, this is almost embarrassing. I am trying to get into my office on G Street in Davis, and I have this huge turkey surrounding my car, circling me, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to run it over, but I can’t stay in my car all morning. Is there any advice you can give me?”

One more…

“Um yeah, so, there’s a turkey between 4th and on 5th and F that’s running around chasing after people. And this was like, it was attacking, pretty much attacking a guy.”

So here’s the deal.

A turkey that spends most of its time hanging out in a Wells Fargo parking lot in downtown Davis is terrorizing citizens.

[shudder]

Downtown Tom, as the gobbler is called, has been lunging at people, circling them, and even chasing them.

Frustrated wildlife officials have tried unsuccessfully to capture the feathered felon. At last report, a half-mile chase temporarily pushed Downtown Tom out of his usual territory, but he’s expected to return.

In the meantime, the city’s posted signs that offer tips on how to handle the terrible turkey.

City officials recommend not running away but clapping your hands, shouting at him, and using whatever you’re carrying to block him if he approaches you aggressively.

“Be the dominant species,” says a city wildlife resource specialist. “Don’t let it intimidate you.”

Funny what intimidates us.

I used to be intimidated by speaking in front of groups.

Not anymore.

I also used to be intimidated by the idea of jumping solo into my own business.

I mastered that, too, after I figgered out a few odds and ends that many solopreneurs won’t tell you about.

I spill the beans about all that bid’niz stuff in a report that you’ll certainly find helpful, if you’re thinking about quitting the ol’ J-O-B and doing your own thing.

Download a copy here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Rotting in Buenos Aires

metropolis1Have I told you before that a 90-year-old silent movie is one of my Top 10 favorite films of all time?

Sure, I have.

Metropolis is German director Fritz Lang’s 1927 dystopian sci-fi epic. It was the most expensive silent movie ever made, and its special effects and set designs have inspired film-makers and artists for almost a century.

Blade Runner owes much to Metropolis. So does Star Wars’ C3PO. A London musical was based on the movie. And singer-songwriter-diva Janelle Monáe created a Metropolis suite.

But Metropolis has long been a damaged giant.

When it premiered in Berlin in 1927, it was 153 minutes long. By the time I first saw it in college, there were just 90 minutes left.

Over the years, it had been sliced and diced by studios and distributors, its rhythm and pace ruined and its plot obscured. The excised footage was “lost.”

For three decades, efforts were made to restore the movie, and it was released and re-released in various versions, incorporating whatever missing footage could be found at the time. By 2001, Metropolis ran 124 minutes long.

Everybody thought Lang’s tour de force had been rebuilt as completely as it would ever be.

But in 2008, a 16 mm reduction negative of the original premiere cut of the film, including almost all the lost scenes, was discovered in a film museum in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

And now Metropolis has been, well, declared as close to “complete” as it ever will be. Its running time stands at 145 minutes, just eight shy of its original magnificence.

Fact is, though, that there’s still restoration work to be done on Metropolis. The “newest” footage from Argentina is watchable but scratchy and in need of further digital cleaning and repair. And there are those missing eight minutes still to be found.

Yeah, the restored Metropolis is still a work-in-progress.

Just like most of us.

We can only be great — and stay great — with ongoing effort. Same with our businesses.

That’s not something most of us wanna hear.

But so it goes.

Read the books.

Listen to the audios.

Attend the workshops.

Don’t sit still, moldering on your sofa (or, like Metropolis, decaying in a Buenos Aires film archive).

Do whatever you gotta do to be your best.

Make it an adventure!

To help get started, you might want to check things out right here.

How to be a villain and influence people

jokerpicMore than 40 years ago, Robert Ringer wrote a couple’a books with titles that kept many mushcookies from opening them and sucking up their valuable advice.

Those books were Winning Through Intimidation and Looking Out for #1. I still re-read them and consider them classics, among the most insightful self-help books ever.

Well, not to be outdone in the offensiveness game, Ben Settle, my favorite unruly marketer, has recently released a short, helpful, motivational volume with a title sure to outrage bleeding hearts aplenty — Persuasion Secrets of the World’s Most Charismatic & Influential Villains.

This little bugger is so freakin’ good that I’ve read it three times since Ben sent me a copy earlier this month.

Get a load of a few of the chapter headings…

“Ruthlessly Knock People off Their Pedestals”

“Execute Your Inner Nice Guy with Extreme Prejudice”

“Secure Your ‘Screw You’ Fund”

My favorite chapter is called “Be the Joker.”

Ben explains that Batman’s archest of arch bad guys has an attribute that, if applied to our everyday lives, will fill our pockets with dough, our beds with beautiful partners, and send our competitors scrambling for the hills.

What’s that attribute?

It’s IMPACT.

Just think about it.

In the world of villainy, nobody beats the Joker in the impact department.

You didn’t even see the guy in the trailers for last summer’s “Suicide Squad,” but when movie audiences heard his echoing laugh, they went batshit crazy.

That’s impact, friend.

Do you have it? Personally? In your business?

You might wanna download my latest report, whether you think you have impact or not. Grab the report here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Royally pissed in a Tuscan castle

castello-di-amorosa1Deb and I are in Napa Valley this week, partaking of pinots, cabs, chardonnays, zins, you name it.

Which reminds me of an adventure we had a few years ago at maybe the coolest winery in the area.

Castello di Amorosa is socked away against a hillside just south of the geysers in Calistoga.

The place is a full-scale medieval Tuscan castle, with a drawbridge, dry moat, great hall, courtyard, church, iron-gated entrance, towers, and even a torture chamber. Out of place here but totally bitchin’.

Their wine is great.

But on this particular visit I’m referring to, they almost blew it.

There were six of us in our party, and our friend Carrie had an iPhone app that promised a two-for-one deal for admission and wine tasting.

But the two women at the entrance didn’t want to honor it.

They fussed. They fumed. Only after much argument did they finally allow two of us to enter at a discount.

Four of us were royally pissed.

Not a good thing when your business sells wine at prices ranging anywhere from 28 to 100-plus dollars a bottle.

So none of us were predisposed to make any wine purchases that morning.

Good thing for the owners of Castello di Amorosa, the guy pouring in the tasting room was friendly, generous, and informative.

We joked with him. He shared stories. We really liked him.

And he sold us some $300 worth of vino.

Meanwhile, the two guard dogs at the gate had risked that sale for a few bucks in admission fees. Not to mention the gamble they’d made that we might tell all our Facebook friends about our shitty experience.

By the way…

We spoke with one of the castle’s bigshots. We suggested the guy in the tasting room get a raise and that the gals at the admissions counter get their asses canned pronto.

As a thank-you, he refunded us all our entry fees.

Business is built on relationships, not on pissing off your potential customers.

It doesn’t matter if you own a large Napa Valley winery or you’re a solopreneur — relationships always matter.

So don’t screw ’em up.

I’ve pulled together a report on how to avoid screwing up not just your customer/client relationships but ANY challenge you might face during the first year or so of building your business.

You’ll want to take a look at this…

http://tinyurl.com/zft964q

Lick your kitty without risking hairballs

cat-brushAnother WTF moment!

In the course of skimming the news yesterday, I came across this…

“HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO LICK YOUR CAT?

“Now you can. Without the furballs.

“Cats groom each other as a form of social bonding. There’s also evidence to suggest that cats view and treat their human captors as large cats. As a human, you’re left out of the intimate licking ritual. At best, you have a one-sided licking relationship with your cat.

“We have designed LICKI brush to bring you and your cat closer. By using LICKI with your cat on a regular basis, you’ll develop a more intimate and bonded relationship, much like a mama cat bonds with her young.”

One end of the brush fits inside your mouth. The other end is shaped like a giant tongue.

I’m thinking this has gotta be a joke, but on the other hand, these folks launched a Kickstarter campaign for their product and have a website filled with videos.

Google it…if you dare. (Me, I found the videos uncomfortable to watch.)

All this goes to show that there are zillions of ways to make money. And sometimes, in the case of this cat brush, the ideas obviously best flow when prompted by massive amounts of hallucinogens.

I’ve always taken an easy route to making moola. And I even crammed my strategy for that into a brief, step-by-step report that you can read in just 20 minutes.

If you’re looking for a simpler way to build a business than designing and marketing a cat-licking product, grab my report here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Kid sidekicks are a pain in the ass

sheffieldI was watching 1947’s Tarzan and the Huntress late last night and remembered that this week marks six years since Johnny Sheffield died.

Johnny was one of the iconic “kid sidekicks.” He played “Boy” to Johnny Weissmuller’s Tarzan in the 1930s and ’40s, and Huntress was his last performance as the character. (In fact, Weissmuller had just one film to go before he hung up his own loincloth.)

Sheffield the jungle boy would’a been 85 this year.

Way back when I was a munchkin, watching the old Weissmuller movies on Channel 9 in L.A., I thought Boy was a pain in the ass.

Tarzan would say, “Boy stay with Cheetah.” But no sooner would the Ape Man leap into the trees than Boy would chase after a baby elephant and end up captured by headhunters, or ivory poachers, or warriors from Opar.

Of course, Cheetah’d fetch Tarz, who’d stop whatever he was doing (usually skinny-dipping with Jane) to rescue the little creep.

Like I said — a pain in the ass.

But there was one good thing you could always say about Boy.

When he needed help — like when cannibals were cooking him in a boiling pot of water — he knew where to find it. And he wasn’t afraid to ask for it.

It’s a shame most of us aren’t more like Boy in that way.

I don’t know about you, but when I run into a problem, I usually avoid asking for help and end up wasting a lot of time that could be better spent elsewhere.

Sure, fumbling and bumbling can be a “learning experience.” But problems get solved faster and more efficiently when you know where to look for the answers.

Well, if you dream of jumping off the job treadmill — or fear that you’ll soon be booted off against your will — I’ve got SOME of the answers.

And I’ve pulled them together into a quick-to-read, no-BS report that you can grab right here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Doing jailtime for saving a dog

dogLast Thursday, a guy from Halfmoon, New York, banged on doors in his neighborhood and raised a cry of fire.

A dog was trapped inside a burning house.

Typical in today’s apathetic culture, the neighbors didn’t give a damn.

So what’s a concerned man of action to do?

This guy rammed his BMW sedan through the fence of the burning house, broke in through its back door, and emerged with the family’s large white dog cradled in his arms.

Whatta guy!

Except the mutt hadn’t been in danger.

Cuz there weren’t no fire.

Seems the feller was higher than an Elon Musk rocketship.

Earlier that day, he’d swallowed a cocktail of LSD and cough syrup.

Anyway, hero or not, the poor schlub was charged with second degree burglary and third degree criminal mischief and put in county jail on $15,000 bail.

You know, sometimes it’s harder than hell to figure out what’s real and what’s not real.

My email box is filled every single day with money-making offers, promising big bucks for doing nothing.

I even get messages from “foreign dignitaries,” reporting that millions of dollars are waiting for me in a secure bank account in Zurich.

Here’s reality…

You don’t make money unless you put in the time and effort.

But where and how you put in the time and effort is vitally important.

I’ve pulled together a short report about the best ways to put your time and effort to use.

No BS. All real.

I promise.

Grab a copy here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Why I’m sitting out this election

vote-nobody-lead-yourself-2016-presidental-campaignI’m exhausted by the Election 2016 madness, aren’t you?

TV is brimming with it. Social media is overstuffed with it.

And what it comes down to is that nobody really likes these two bozos, but everybody thinks they have to pick a team.

You really don’t.

As you’ve heard from me before, I’ve been a principled non-voter for many, many years. And paraphrasing essayist Frank Chodorov, who was a longtime abstainer from the voting booth, the country seems to be none the worse for my not voting.

But during these electoral circuses, I have to find comfort somewhere. So I’ve been re-reading stuff by Edward Abbey this past week.

Abbey was the so-called “Thoreau of the American West.” He called himself an “agrarian anarchist,” a conservationist who thought wilderness deserved preservation mainly because it offers the best places to hide from federal agents.

His solution to “illegal” immigration was neither state-sanctioned “amnesty” nor building a wall. He wanted to “stop every campesino at our southern border, give him a handgun, a good rifle, and a case of ammunition, and send him home. He will know what to do with our gifts and good wishes. The people know who their enemies are.”

Shit, we all know who the Enemy is.

“The Enemy speaks to us all the time,” Abbey once wrote, “from the radio, on the television, on billboards, in the newspapers and slick magazines, in the halls of Congress, at the state capitol, in city hall.”

Don’t surrender your freedom, your humanity, and your honor for promised safety and security.

You’ll only find safety and security in yourself.

Maybe that means heading for the wilderness (like Ed Abbey did).

Maybe it means homeschooling (or unschooling) your kids.

It might mean something as simple as jumping off the job treadmill and “doing your own thing.”

Why not sit out the electoral nonsense and do something really important for you and your family?

Just sayin’.

“Down with Empire! Up with Spring!” – Edward Abbey

Why Trump could be a good idea

trump1You know where I stand on electoral politics.

I don’t like ’em. I don’t participate in ’em.

But I have to share something I just got today from Jon McCulloch, a marketer in Ireland.

Jon’s talking my talk here, and I’m just gonna quote most of his email, with no fixing of typos or whatever.

I’ll be back in a minute or so.

Here’s Jon…

“I’m not much one to follow politics. Not only are politicians themselves dishonest, self-serving, and frequently corrupt but they’re largely unnecessary and work in jobs and in a profession entirely of their own invention.

“Remember early this year, when the election on the 26th February yielded no clear winner and Ireland had no government for several months?

“The country just kept on runnin’, because, like it or not, adult human beings don’t need others to tell them what to do or how to live their lives. Sure, I know loads of people feel they do, but they’re wrong. People, left alone, tend to do just fine. The only people who think otherwise are those who want something for nothing, and those who want to force others to live their lives according to their pet ideology.

“Here’s a Fundamental Truth for ya: the thing politicians, do-gooders, bleeding-hearts, and fucking Socialists all hate with a passion is self reliant people who don’t want or need their meddlesome ideas and invasive practices.

“What’s this got to do with anything?

“Well, right now on this side of the Pond we’re being treated to the truly awesome spectacle of Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton battling it out to become President of the United States. It all seems very surreal, I know, but the fact is it’s almost certain one of those clowns is gonna become arguably the most powerful person in the world in just a few short months. I’m not going to get into Trump’s merits as a business owner here, but he’s definitely not qualified to run a country. Every time he opens his mouth he’s either lying, talking scientifically-illiterate nonsense, or proposing actions and laws clearly violating the Constitution.

“But, that said, I suspect Trump is a far better choice than Hilary.

“Why?

“Simply because he is such a clown.

“See, it’s entirely possible if Trump gets elected he’ll dive right on trying to enact unconstitutional laws and engaging in other illegal batshittery, meaning he and his administration will spend so much time being dragged through the courts and arguing about all this shit, they won’t have time to mess, meddle, and fiddle with the economy.

“And economies do best when they’re left alone (they’re complex adaptive systems, don’tchaknow?).

“I guess on this side of the Pond it’s all moot, although what happens in and to the US does affect the whole world to some extent.

“Whatever. There’s nothing you or I can do about it, so our best course of action is to put our noses to the grindstone and knuckle down to growing our businesses. Certainly, if we wait for things to magically get better or become more favourable we’re gonna be waiting a long time.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Ignore the political BS and stick to business.

But what if you don’t have a business to stick to?

I got an answer to that right here.