Just for grins, try this…
Keep your face pointed down at your lap or feet for, oh, let’s say 10 minutes.
Don’t tilt your head up.
Keep your eyes aimed directly downward.
For just 10 minutes.
It’ll seem like ETERNITY!
I bet you can’t even make it for 10 minutes without rubbing your aching neck and screaming.
Now I’m not trying to make myself sound like a goddamn hero or anything, but I had retinal surgery done on my left eye three weeks ago.
And post-op required that for successful healing of the retinal hole, I had to stay 100% face-down for the first EIGHT DAYS.
Daytime, I sat in an uncomfortable ergo-chair, my head cradled by a face-cushioning blue plastic donut. Reading was uncomfortable and eating was awkward. I could drink only through straws, so I went cold turkey without hot coffee. I watched TV using something called a MajicMirror Viewer that was propped on a little table under my face.
At night, I slept on an elevated cushion with, again, my face stuck in a donut. No moving. No rolling over. I slept, but fitfully. Whenever I tried to roll over, I woke up. My lower back ached. My shoulders cramped. Hell, as bad as captivity in the ergo-chair was during the day, I absolutely DREADED going to bed at night.
After eight days, the doc said I could safely sleep on my side (NOT on my back). But for at least another week, I had to stay face-down for 50% of waking hours.
Gloriosky! that little improvement made me happy.
Then, after 15 post-op days, I got the thumbs-up to “go vertical” whenever and wherever I wanted. The ergo-chair and bedtime apparatuses were shipped back to the hell from which they had crawled.
I feel like a new man now.
Sure, the vision in my left eye sucks and will continue sucking until it heals fully in the next few weeks and I get a cataract removed and get fitted for a corrective lens.
But overall, things are better.
I can eat without annoyance, guzzle hot cups of coffee, read with one eye, finish watching the fifth season of “Game of Thrones” without the use of mirrors, and even smoke cigars in the backyard.
Life is good. And will only get better when I remember to apply a few lessons learned some time ago…